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Turns Out That The Fringe Class Mentality Doesn’t Mesh Well With Credit Cards

Credit Cards (Credit: Shutterstock)

David Hookstead Sports And Entertainment Editor
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I’ve lived my life as a proud member of the fringe class, and I’ve been informed this is really bad when it comes to credit cards.

For those of you who don’t know, the fringe class is all about living life however you want. It’s a carefree existence. We do our best work outside the realm of societal standards. We drink more than you can, we own more guns than you do, we have hotter woman than you do, we have more isolated land than you do, we can live off the grid, we have survival skills, we rock camo and we generally like paying in cash. Why do we pay in cash? Because paper trails are never a good thing.

I lived the first 25 years of my life without a credit card. My parents pushed me over and over to get one, and I pushed back at every turn. It seemed like another thing that would weigh me down, and the idea of borrowing money, even temporarily for the month, was a no-go every day of the week in my book. I had a debit card, but I mostly dabbled in cash. Some might say carrying cash is stupid, but I say giving a tracking trail to anybody with the resources to know what they’re looking for to find you is beyond stupid.

Well, there was an incident with my debit card possibly being stolen and frozen on multiple occasions and my parents forced me to get a credit card. I thought to myself it made no difference in the end. All I spend money on is beer, food, guns, and bullets. You know what all those things have in common? They’re very cheap to acquire. But as you go on to live without a credit card, and when the need of acquiring something bigger dawns up on one, you cannot just proceed without some essentials.

I figured I’d beaten the system. I had capitulated to getting a credit card, but wasn’t wracking up anything major. Well, you can imagine my surprise when I was informed by about a dozen different people that not racking up massive bills on your credit card is not great. I know, it’s mind-boggling to me too. Something about how you can’t buy a house unless you have a ton of credit history. You see, I always envisioned buying a house would be more like me showing up with a suitcase of cash to buy some tiny Ron Swanson-esque cabin in Wisconsin. No paper trail, no banks, no evidence and nothing that shows up on paper. Apparently that’s not really how life works.

Now I’m sitting here with my life turned upside down. I’ve learned so much new information in the past couple days that it’s shocking. Somebody just told me that you can’t even secretly buy property!

It looks like I’m at a crossroads. I can choose the fringe class, a lifestyle that has made the man I am today, or I can go full mainstream with copious amounts of credit card debt. These are the choices that define a life. I can either stick to my investments in ammunition and the dream of Montana ranch or an off the books cabin or I can build credit to buy some lame house.

Yeah,  I think I’m just going to stick to the fringe class. It seems to always workout in the end.

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